1) Our 2011 Emmys Summary: Modern Family is the Emmy’s favorite comedy, Louis C.K. didn’t win anything, The Big Bang Theory did win something, Outstanding Guest Actor in A Comedy Series is an award, despite moving to TBS, Conan loses out to NBC again, and we still think awards shows shouldn’t be televised.

2) Kumail Nanjiani, Gears of War 3, Barbara Kingsolver, and a “Make A Wish” Kid can only make for a hilarious Funny or Die sketch.

3) Patton Oswalt’s Finest Hour is available for purchase or download tomorrow!

4) The Midnight Show debunks the myths of twins in ads.

5) Who wants to fund an animated horror short starring Paul F. Tompkins? 

6) Louis C.K. is in the A.V. Club again today in what inevitably be quoted on Tumblr then reblogged throughout the entire blogosphere including right here, which doesn’t bother us in the slightest

7) Oh we forgot regarding the 2011 Emmy Awards: Jimmy Fallon’s angry clap deserves its own statue. Forget an emmy; it needs a life size one.

8) COMEDY CRAWL
SXSW Showcase @ UCB Theatre 4:30PM FREE
SXSW Showcase @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10 
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
The BEATdown: Los Angeles @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 9PM/starts after booked show/15 spots only/5 min.
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC Campus)/nestled between three adjacent dorms approximately one block N. of Figueroa & Exposition/USC student sign-up 9PM/Non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/first come, first served/7 min./no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

10) Oh yeah, the Sheen roast is tonight, isn’t it?

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1) CBS Sketch Diversity Showcase is taking submissions until Thurs. Sept. 22nd. Must be SAG, “primarily focused on African-American, Asian-American, Middle Eastern, Latino, Native American, Pacific Islander, LGBT actors, senior performers and performers with disabilities”, and able to perform and rehearse in LA. 

2) The Comedy Garage Documentary gets reviewed by Film Threat.

3) “Telescope” by Uncle Mom-is not a song on KCRW’s rotation, but a hilarious new sketch from Shawn Pearlman, Zach Paez, and Payman Benz.

Telescope - watch more funny videos

4) Reportedly, more open mics have opened up in the South Bay for comedy. The Comic Bug will start a comedy open mic on Thurs. Sept. 29th and Club 705 has expanded from Monday night to both Monday and Tuesday night.  More details to come.

5) So you’ve got a couple of options for the Emmys tonight, following Witstream, @laughspincom, or just catching up on episodes of Louie. 

6) The opposite of John Oliver’s New York Stand-Up Show coming to Comedy Central next month.

7) ON THE HORIZON
Neighbors @ The Warehouse Wed. Sept. 21st 8PM FREE
One-Two Punch @ Benton Manor Sat. Sept. 24th 8PM $3
Adult Contemporary Comedy @ Fake Gallery Fri. Sept. 23rd 9PM FREE 
An Evening with Mike Birbiglia @ USC Bovard Auditorium Oct. 6th 7:30PM $25 

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2 (stand by only)
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE
Neal Brennan & Friends w/Bill Burr @ Westside Comedy Theater 9PM $5
RTDOK Presents @ Chatterbox 9PM FREE 
Powerviolence @ The Complex 9PM FREE
Set List @ Flappers Burbank 9PM $12/2 item min.
Top Story Weekly! @ iO West 9PM $5
DC Pierson’s Bad at Girls @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
SXSW Showcase @ Comedy Store 10PM
Shitty Jobs @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 (stand by only) 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/lottery
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
PARADISE PERKS 15475 Jeffrey Rd., Irvine, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/only 10 spots available
NERDIST THEATRE 7522 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (back room of Meltdown Comics)/Sign-up 7:15PM/Starts 7:30PM/lottery/30 spots available/no purchase necessary
TSUNAMEDY @ TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 9PM/first come, first served/mixed mic
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee available  

10) Ha! Gayweather trended in LA on Twitter last night.

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1) Emmy nominations came out today and Louis C.K. is nominated four times (apparently he edited his own special, Hilarious.), Conan got nominated while Leno did not, Modern Family gets plenty of love (in Outstanding Supporting Actor in a Comedy Series, they take 4 of the six nominations), and Futurama gets a couple a nods.

2) NSFW Hal Rudnick’s doing an interview on the XXX Parody of Anchorman. Well, actually, he’s doing it while the movie’s shooting.

Anchorman XXX Parody Set Visit - NSFW - watch more funny videos

3) Paul Scheer leads the way with National Terrorism Strike Force: San Diego:: Sports Utility Vehicle or NTSF:SD:SUV premieres on Adult Swim next week! Saw a preview at Scheer and Rob Hubel’s live show Crash Test and it was hilarious. Check out the teaser now, then watch it on Adult Swim next Thursday July 21st.

4) HOLY FUCK! Dave Ross gets interviewed in Laugh Button!

5) If you feel like truly staying in because you want to catch Louie on FX at 10:30PM, don’t forget to catch the premiere of the 2nd Season of the Green Room with Paul Provenza on Showtime 11PM AND the legendary Don Rickles will be making an appearance on the Tonight Show on NBC 11:35PM.

6) If you thought you were going to fly from the Long Beach Airport to Burbank this weekend to beat “Carmeggedon”, forget about it because it’s already sold out.

7) Puddin’-Yawn

8) ON THE HORIZON
Louis C.K. @ Largo Fri. July 15th & Sun. July 17th 9PM $20 Sold Out
Reggie Watts @ Largo Mon. Aug. 15th & Tues. Aug. 16th 9PM $20

9) COMEDY CRAWL
Comedy Central Showcase Callbacks @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7:30PM FREE/2 item min.
Subversive Comedy w/Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Burbank 8PM $12/2 item min.
Joe Wengert’s Stages of Adulthood @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE
Merrill Davis & Friends @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $6 
Laugh Revival @ Venice Sound Stage 8:30PM FREE
The Comedy Palace @ The Palace Restaurant 9PM FREE
Sarah Silverman & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theater 9PM $25
Sappity Tappity: A Drunken Romp Through Liquor Forest @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Lopez Tonight Showcase @ Flappers YooHoo Room 10PM $10/2 item min. 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/$4 minimum/first come, first served
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary 
TROPHALLAXIS @ HIVE GALLERY & STUDIOS 729 S. Spring St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 9PM/No purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available   

11) According to this chart, we’re only dedicated bloggers. Really? How are we not Tumblr Famous? Anyone care to change this? Please. (Don’t worry, we went back to hating ourselves for begging for followers right after we posted this)

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