Things to Do in Los Angeles According to Bart Simpson (via Hidden Los Angeles)

Is it sad that I’ve seen all of these on a semi-regular basis?

The Return of Red Velvet Comedy….

1) Norm MacDonald (@NormMacdonald) was trending on Twitter in Los Angeles.  Apparently, he tweeted 14 times yesterday adding to his 16 total times he has tweeted since 2009… and he still has over 30,000 followers.  Makes Follow Fridays seem kind of pointless, doesn’t it?

2) THIS FRIDAY IS KYLE KINANE’S COMEDY CENTRAL PRESENTS SPECIAL.  YOU DO REALIZE THAT, DON’T YOU? FEB. 25th COMEDY CENTRAL 11PM.

3) ON THE HORIZON:
Comedy Showcase @ 3rd St. Promenade Playhouse Fri. Feb 25th 9PM $6 online/$12 at door
Cartoon Dump w/Emo Phillips and Kyle Kinane @ The Steve Allen Theater Mon. Feb. 28th 8PM $10
Red Velvet Comedy Returns @ Hollywood Improv Lab Fri. Mar. 4th 10PM $5
Battleship Pretension @ Meltdown Comics Sat. Mar. 5th 8PM $5 

3) Charlyne Yi Interview in Serial Optimist. Charlyne is amazing and Serial Optimist knows what they’re doing so READ IT!!!

4) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Adam Shenkman’s “Silverlake ARM Wrestling Tournament” @ Silverlake Lounge 6PM FREE
Merrillwood LIVE @ Zephyr Theatre 7:30PM $10/Free for comics 
“If This Doesn’t Work, I’m Moving Home” A Variety Hour @ Harlem Place Cafe 8PM FREE 
Fix Up Show @ ACME Comedy Theatre 8PM $15 
Welcome to Hollyweird (Charity Event) @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $15/2 item min.
Meltdown @ Meltdown Comics 8:30PM FREE
The Mostly Normal Show @ Hollywood Improv Lab 9PM $5
Just for Laughs Showcase @ Punk House 9PM $8 
Beer in the Shower @ Whitehorse Cocktail Lounge Inn 9:30PM FREE
Denver Smith Presents @ Next Stage Theatre 11PM $5 

5) OPEN MIC RUN
THE SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7PM 
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 7PM/Starts 7:30PM 
CAFE MUSE 6547 Santa Monica Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM
LIBRARY A COFFEEHOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 8PM/Starts 8:30PM 

6) Recently: Man has 39 Wives, nearly 100 children.  When I first read that, I hope that his 100 children just do impressions like a bad comic all the time until he goes clinically insane.

7) If you choose to dance while people are telling jokes instead of talking, you’re still heckling.  In fact, you’re worst.  Stop it.

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1) Hilarious comedian Paul Jay was recently threatened by someone unknown to the Comedy Bureau at the Westwood Brewco Open Mic, sometimes referred to as the “open mic of love” over an incident that happened about a month ago.  Apparently, the person dishing out the threats took offense to a comment that Paul made in trying to shut him up as this person was talking during the whole show.  If anything is “going down” tonight, I urge anyone there to have Paul’s back because he’s a good man, a funny man, and anyone who claims they were whispering during the whole show and then wants to fight over being told to be quiet is pretty much in the wrong.

2) Real People liking good comedy: Everybody’s Talkin’ Comedy Show Review (via Wisepix).  

3) The hilarious “Puddin” live action comic strip with Eddie Pepitone will be featured here everyday, but you can follow them on Twitter if you feel like beating the Comedy Bureau to the punch @puddinstrip.

4) ON THE HORIZON:
Birds of Prey @ Comedy Central Stages 8PM FREE/call (323) 960-5519
Eddie Pepitone Bloodbath @ Hollywood Improv Lab Mar. 8th
Glenn Wool @ Hollywood Improv Lab Thurs. Mar. 10th 10:30PM $5
LA Comedy Fest’s First Fridays Variety Show @ Theatre Asylum Fri. Mar. 4th 10:30PM $10
Timeline B (Sax Carr Taping) @ Meltdown Comics Fri. Mar. 11th 8PM FREE
The Midnight Show Showcase @ UCB Theatre Thurs. Mar. 17th 8PM $5

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Biscuits & Gravy @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5
Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
First Therapy Comedy Show @ Blue Monkey Lounge 8:30PM FREE 

7) OPEN MIC RUN
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM
WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM  

8) Recently: Man was shot dead for eating popcorn too loudly at a ‘Black Swan’ screening.  This makes me wonder, briefly, why Bill Hicks didn’t go further in handling this heckler.

9) Special Thanks to Comedian Chris Dunham for his donation to the Comedy Bureau.

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1) Kyle Kinane Interview by Ron Babcock in a nudie mag for women called Pool Boy.  I’m just going to focus on the first six words of the previous sentence.  

2) Would you look at that…?  You can have a comedy special on Fuel TV.  On Feb. 28th, Chris Fairbanks will air his special that he taped at M-Bar in November of last year, though just like every other channel that airs comedy specials, it’ll be on 1AM.

3) ON THE HORIZON: Shows you should be watching for because they might/should sell out
Welcome to Hollyweird Charity Event @ Hollywood Improv Wed. Feb. 23rd 8PM $15
The Sarah Silverman and Friends @ Largo Thurs. Feb. 24th 7:30PM $25
Conan Writers @ Hollywood Improv Thurs. Feb. 24th 8PM $14/2 item min.
Jeff Ross’ Roast in Peace @ The Comedy Store Fri. Feb. 25th 8:30PM $20
The Paul F. Tompkins 9th Anniversary Show @ Largo Sat. Mar. 19th 8:30PM $25

4) To go with Marc Maron coffee mugs, I just found WTF Roast Coffee.

5) Big Trouble in Little Tokyo is happening folks.  Don’t worry.  Glenn Wool and Jerrod Carmichael have got our backs on this one.  Tomorrow. Señor Fish. 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA. Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM.

6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-That’s the “nice price”
4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes 8PM FREE
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Melgard Mondays @ Melgard Public House 9PM FREE
Comedy Night @ Cherry Pit 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE

7) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min.
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PMish
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM.  First 15 spots are 5 min. paired with 3 min. work-ins throughout the show. 
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM-ish
HARLEM PLACE CAFE 124 W. 4th St. (in alley between Main and Spring St.)/Starts 8PM/e-mail speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com for spots
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 Cover/Free coffee & water. 

8) Recently: I read this headline, “Washington: the blackest name in America”. I also had trouble thinking of something to post in this section today, so I’m just posting something without much of a purpose besides it being hilarious: Claire Titelman.

9) When you ask to be brought up on stage by having the host say, “Our next comic comes all the way from the city of ASSHOLE!” I begin to wonder wy you ever left.

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1) Though he has a penchant for provoking, it’s still amazing that Neil Hamburger (@Neil_Hamburger) proves that you can get heckled on Twitter and that, sometimes, the best way to deal with them is to let the heckler put their own foot in their own damn mouth.  After a few tweets along the lines of: “I apologize to @BritneySpears and her fans.  Feeling guilty after meeting her kids in line at local free clinic. #MentalIllness #Malnutrition,” Neil Hamburger’s Twitter feed filled with some, perhaps, ill-conceived “heckles” tweeted at him that he thankfully retweeted and are, now, featured here. 

“Stop running your mouth you fucking ugly loser. You’re irrelavent. Don’t take it out on Brit, bitch!”

“wow @Neil_Hamburger….i never thought someone could be as ignorant and unsophisticated as you are. karma is a bitch…be ready for it.”

“FEMME FATALE will come for your ass you sad failed comedian. NOBODY knows who you are. LMAO”

“Sorry. mean people like @Neil_Hamburger aren’t amazing. Open ur eyes people. People like him is the reason why there’s so much hate…”

“Using Britney, her mental illness, and her kids for publicity, are we? Hope it makes you sleep better at night, sir.”

“America’s #1 Funnyman? HAHAHA You gotta be kidding. You’re such a nobody, look in the mirror… You fucking failed abortion.”

“You’re such a fail. Trying to become famous making fun of people who will always be more succesfull than you’ll ever be”

“Haha, dumb fuck. You’ll never be as succesful as Britney. Go DIE ignorant, motherfucker. FAILED COMEDIAN.”

“HEY!! BACK OFF BRITNEY SPEARS!!! BRITNEY IS THE QUEEN!! YOU ARE AN IGNORANT PERSON!!! I AM A BRITNEY & MJ FAN!!!”

“your second name is so unfortunate Lol, get ran over by a bus plz.”

“You can only wish your career is as successful as Britney’s.”

“could you please stop retweeting people who are sarcastically responding to you? it’s really annoying”

2) Josh Rencher’s Frolic is back from yet another hiatus, which I guess would make it Frolic 3.0?  Mar. 2nd. 9PM FREE at Far Bar in Little Tokyo.  What’s Frolic?  Well, I wrote about it right here.  Check back at the Comedy Bureau next week for more details.  

3) The birth of a new open mic that could possibly fill in a void that the comedy community has been somewhat feeling on Mondays: Jake’s 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA. Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM.  First 15 spots are 5 min. paired with 3 min. work-ins throughout the show.  Hosted by the gracious Steve Hernandez.

4) Again, in case you don’t like scrolling down, Tip of the Hat 2/19: Lauri Roggenkamp

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-even if it isn’t a 3 day weekend….
Jeff Garlin’s Combo Platter @ UCB Theatre 6PM $2 (stand by only)
Comedy Without a Cause @ Boardner’s 7PM FREE 
Sunday Funnies @ Zoey’s (in Ventura) 7PM $5 
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 7:30PM FREE
Comedy Barre @ Barre Vermont 8PM FREE/2 drink min. 
An Evening with Ted Leo @ Center for the Arts Eagle Rock 8PM $10
Big Ten Comedy All Stars @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $14/2 item min.
French Toast @ Taix 8:30PM FREE 
Powerviolence Comedy Night @ 6470 Santa Monica Blvd. in Hollywood 8:30PM FREE 
Top Story Weekly @ iO West 9PM $5 
Matt Mira & Thomas Lennon Present ONESTAR @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Race Riot @ Hollywood Improv 10PM $14/2 item min. 

6) OPEN MIC RUN
PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM 
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min. 

MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

7) Recently: Blake Griffin dunked over a car in his victory at the NBA Dunk Contest last night, but can he spin a cheeseburger on an umbrella like Michael Rayner (and also be funny while doing it?)  Didn’t think so.

8) I went though nearly an hour of straight bombing yesterday just to have a good 7 min. set.  In that time, I yelled at myself in my car while stuck in traffic, questioned myself in my intentions as a comedian, and depressed the few people that bothered to listen to me and not the person dancing outside in the rain.  Sometimes, that’s what you need to do to prepare for a show.

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The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” this week to LAURI ROGGENKAMP:

“@lauriroggenkamp I think I was given a sign last night that I eat too much because the drive thru lady cut me off while I was still ordering.”

The last few “Tips of the Hat” have been to performers that tour the world doing stand up or are sort of local legends in their own right.  Lauri Roggenkamp may not get perform in Hungary or get to be on Chelsea Lately once a month, but she is fuckin’ hilarious on a consistent basis, which is one of the main qualifiers to be featured here.

Lauri Roggenkamp is a multi-faceted performer as she frequently switches caps between stand-up, sketch, and improv throughout Los Angeles very well having performed often at iO West and UCB Theatre.  Still, the most enjoyable thing about Lauri, especially when it comes to her stand up performances, is the delightful, but unflinching brand of honesty she has honed.

Unabashed and unfiltered in her material about her weight/appearance and people’s constant curiosity as to what her sexual preferences are, Lauri delivers it in such an endearing way that you forget how dark it is while laughing hysterically.  Her likability is so great that even at a roast, she was fact-checked by the person she was roasting, proved wrong, and actually acknowledged that she didn’t fact-check any of her jokes, then still got uproarious laughter the whole way through.

Currently, Lauri is part of the iO West sketch group Hot Toddy that performs weekly and does stand up everywhere from the Hollywood Improv to a Southern Style seafood restaurant in Orange County, but is undeniably funny in all of those circumstances.  Follow her on Twitter, follow her on Tumblr, and check back here at the Comedy Bureau for details on her next performance.

1) The Rooftop College Comedy Competition on Mar. 22nd pits students from LMU and Chapman University to see who is the funniest.  How is this not an open mic that you’d have to pay to see?  

2) Sell-Outs: Just a heads up on some great shows that are SOLD OUT, though you might just show up and see if there are any tickets at the door because people in LA tend to be quite flaky.
Matt Mira and Thomas Lennon present ONESTAR @ UCB Theatre Sun. Feb. 20th 9:30PM
West Memphis Three Benefit Show w/Oswalt, Silverman, and Tompkins @ Largo Mon. Feb. 21st 8PM $40
An Evening with Bill Maher @ Ice House Mon. Feb. 21st 8PM $40

3) Thank Brandie Posey (@brandazzle) for braving the rain for watching Dave Coulier’s set at Flappers last night tweeting it under the #CoulierGenius hashtag.  

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-You better stay up tonight…
2 Milk Minimum @ Flappers Burbank 11:30AM $10/2 item min.
The Swarm @ UCB Theatre 7PM $5 (stand by only)
The Anytime Show w/Dominic Dierkes @ Smodcastle 8PM $8
Grand Theft Audio LIVE @ Meltdown Comics 8PM $8
Lettuce Entertain You w/Stand Up @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 (stand by only)
Dole-White @ 1269 E. 6th St., Los Angeles, CA 10PM FREE
Magic Bag @ Smodcastle 10PM $8
The 12 Shiny Nickels Show @ Fake Gallery 11PM $5
The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch Presents: Hook-Up @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8

6) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/people usually give feedback at end of set
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 6PM/one item min.
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATRE 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-Up 6PM/Starts 6:30PM
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed

7) Recently: Radiohead’s new album came out to uproarious…. outrage especially via Twitter.  Anyone think they will get to the point where fans will want to chase them with pitchforks like Patton Oswalt wants to kill George Lucas with a shovel?

8) A kid an open mic asked me where we can make money doing comedy in LA and I literally told him, a la Chinatown because it was raining and there were neon signs all around, “It’s LA. Forget about it.”  Welcome to Jadedville. (also, I find it hilarious that I’m Jake and I’m the one saying it.)

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Eddie Pepitone’s Daily “Puddin’”-Race War