1) Our 2011 Emmys Summary: Modern Family is the Emmy’s favorite comedy, Louis C.K. didn’t win anything, The Big Bang Theory did win something, Outstanding Guest Actor in A Comedy Series is an award, despite moving to TBS, Conan loses out to NBC again, and we still think awards shows shouldn’t be televised.

2) Kumail Nanjiani, Gears of War 3, Barbara Kingsolver, and a “Make A Wish” Kid can only make for a hilarious Funny or Die sketch.

3) Patton Oswalt’s Finest Hour is available for purchase or download tomorrow!

4) The Midnight Show debunks the myths of twins in ads.

5) Who wants to fund an animated horror short starring Paul F. Tompkins? 

6) Louis C.K. is in the A.V. Club again today in what inevitably be quoted on Tumblr then reblogged throughout the entire blogosphere including right here, which doesn’t bother us in the slightest

7) Oh we forgot regarding the 2011 Emmy Awards: Jimmy Fallon’s angry clap deserves its own statue. Forget an emmy; it needs a life size one.

8) COMEDY CRAWL
SXSW Showcase @ UCB Theatre 4:30PM FREE
SXSW Showcase @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10 
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
The BEATdown: Los Angeles @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 9PM/starts after booked show/15 spots only/5 min.
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC Campus)/nestled between three adjacent dorms approximately one block N. of Figueroa & Exposition/USC student sign-up 9PM/Non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/first come, first served/7 min./no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

10) Oh yeah, the Sheen roast is tonight, isn’t it?

Report 00280
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Nick Turner on Late Night with Jimmy Fallon.

2) The Women in Comedy Festival (though it’s on the other side of the country) is now taking submissions for 2012.

3) Andrés Du Bouchet, if you don’t already know, is a name you need to know as he has an album coming out next week, writes for Conan, and just wrote something that Entourage would be jealous of had it known what it was doing.

4) Erin Gibson is to Michelle Bachmann as Tina Fey is to Sarah Palin.

Michele Bachmann chooses STD’s - watch more funny videos

5) LA comedy is getting into the rap game w/a new intro to Holy Fuck feat. Barbara Gray and Chase Darren and TJ Miller’s “DJ Stop n’ Talk”

6) Our review of The Sklar Brothers’ “Hendersons & Daughters”.

7) COMEDY CRAWL
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only)
Todd Barry @ Hollywood Improv 8PM/10PM $20/2 item min.
The Anytime Show w/Dominic Dierkes @ Underground Annex Theater 8PM $5
Handshucked @ Moving Arts Theater 8PM $5
The Paul F. Tompkins Show @ Largo at the Coronet Theater 8:30PM $25 
Magic Bag @ Underground Annex Theater 10PM $5
The Walsh Brothers w/special guest Bill Burr @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 
The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8 

8) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/feedback given at end
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/coffee & water provided
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/no purchase necessary/4 min. 
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 6PM/starts after booked portion/5 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery

9) If you can’t handle being not liked as a comedian, you should quit comedy and become a greeter at Walmart.

Report 00278
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) The Sklar Brothers on Conan. Please buy “Hendersons & Daughters” not because it’s #1 on iTunes, but because it’s damn hilarious.

2) Here’s an explanation on how to get listed on Witstream. It’s odd how close this is to getting passed a comedy club.

3) Kumail Nanjiani “teaches” a little girl how to play Marvel vs. Capcom 2.

4) Paul F. Tompkins’ Dead Authors is going to be a podcast!!! (and this twitpic is proof enough, right?)

5) The Laughter Against the Machine Tour starts off their tour by missing their plane while waiting at the actual departure gate. Oddly enough, we also kept forgetting to post this…

6) “If there were a late-night comedy show completely run by comedy writers, without any interference from a host, producer, or network, that show would probably be called The Darkest and Most Impossibly Horrible Things You Can Imagine, Presented as Comedy. Every sketch would end with a gunshot or an infant’s stroller engulfed in flames, and the show would be canceled halfway through its opening titles. That’s because most comedy writers are so inured by humor that only the most shockingly toxic ideas can achieve the proper velocity to penetrate their indifference.”

-Todd Levin, staff writer on Conan, in Good Magazine

Oh, if only the key dems that networks and studios go for just upped their sophistication in humor so such a scenario could happen.

7) Soon, there will be a term “Whitney apologist”…

8) Will Ferrell will be the next recipient of the Mark Twain Prize for American Humor. One can’t help but ponder Twain’s thoughts on “the Landlord” and its reflection on the American renter.

9) COMEDY CRAWL
The Super Serious Show w/Paul F. Tompkins @ Smashbox Studios 7PM $15
Red Sandwich’s Saddest Show Ever @ UCB Theatre 8PM $5 (stand by only)
The Hot House Comedy Show @ Hot House 8PM FREE (invite only)
Sarah Silverman & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 8:30PM $25 (sold out, tickets may be available)
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubistch 8:30PM FREE
3rd Thursday Comedy Series @ Ruskin Group Theatre 9PM FREE
Odd Thursdays @ The Palace Restaurant 9PM FREE
Mapping the Heavens @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5 (stand by only) 
Live at Carnegie Hall* @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/$4 minimum/first come, first served
ZAPATA VIVE 101 S. First Ave., Arcadia, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/20 spots available/5 min.
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary 
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 9PM/Starts after booked portion/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available   

11) If you’re a comic and you’re JUST going up at open mics/shows and NOT watching comedy, I guarantee you that the majority of your material has probably been done.

Report 00276
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) South Park creators Matt Stone & Trey Stone crash a screenwriting class. [via CCinsider]

2) The Midnight Show’s take on how to deal with your finances. If only we only all had readily available snakes…

3) Open calls for LA comedy folks:
-Eagleheart needs extras for this Tuesday 9/13.
-A12thWayToReachMe is looking for participants in a run through of a new games show next Thurs.
-@AlisonAgosti needs a dude to play “shirtless male groupie” for a Channel 101 video.

4) The Big Fish Bar & Grill officially has an open mic starting next week. 

5) Though we really don’t approve of the Roast of Charlie Sheen (see why here), please follow the hilarious Justin Ian Daniels on Twitter @funnyjustin as he will be at the taping tonight interviewing people for Laughspin.

6) ON THE HORIZON
The Collective Showcase @ Hollywood Improv Wed. Sept. 13th 8PM $14/2 item min.
The Walsh Brothers Show w/Bill Burr @ UCB Theatre Sat. Sept. 17th MIDNIGHT $5
SXSW Comedy Showcase @ Nerdist Theater Mon. Sept. 19th 8PM $8 in adv./$10 day of

7) COMEDY CRAWL
Space Boners @ Silverlake Lounge 7PM FREE
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only)
The Anytime Show w/Dominic Dierkes @ Underground Annex Theater 8PM $5 
The Thrilling Adventure Hour @ Largo at the Coronet Theater 8:30PM $25 (sold out, tickets may be available at door) 
The Back Room @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 
Magic Bag @ Underground Annex Theater 10PM $5
The Tomorrow Show Presents CLOWNS! @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8 

8) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/feedback given at end
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/coffee & water provided
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/no purchase necessary/4 min. 
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts after booked show around 7PM/Spots are 5 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery 

9) There was so much drama at open mics this week, I almost thought that Last Comic Standing was coming back with a whole new format.

Report 00271
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) JON DALY IS… Ticklish Cage?

Ticklish Cage from Jon Daly

2) Fox pulled this segment of comedian Bob Oschack interviewing Asian USC students about the inclusion of Colorado and Utah in the newly formed PAC 12 Conference due to many in the Asian American community being deeply offended.  Apparently, Asian college students not knowing about the newest developments in collegiate level sports conferences is incredibly embarassing.  As an Asian American USC alumni, I could say that the clip isn’t all that offensive, but then again, I don’t really care about my ethnicity at all.  Also, lighten the fuck up. [via America’s Comedy]

3) Tonight on TV: Futurama gets their season finale in a way that they’ve never been drawn before (Comedy Central 10PM), Louie also reaches its season finale (FX 10:30PM), NTSF:SD:SUV has former Crossing Jordan star Jerry O’Connell (Adult Swim 12:15AM), and Thursdays are running out of things to watch.

4) In LA open mic news, there will be a new open mic at the Hollywood Improv and an open mic for sketches at the Westside Comedy Theater (those interested must sign-up in advance) all this Sunday.

5) Here’s a list of recently released and upcoming comedy albums that you could go to most stores to pick up, unlike us going to Amoeba.

6) LA’s only rooftop comedy show, Long Way Down, gets a nice write-up in LAist.

7) ON THE HORIZON
The Be-Bop Heroin Hour @ Hollywood Improv Lab Fri. Sept. 16th 10PM $10
Cancer Can Blow Me @ UCB Theatre Thurs. Sept. 29th 8PM/9:30PM $20

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Jeff Garlin in Conversation w/Larry David for OXFAM @ Largo 8PM $30 (sold out)
Subversive Comedy w/Jimmy Dore @ Flappers Burbank 8PM $12/2 item min.
“Raised by Cable” Album Release @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE 
Merrill Davis & Friends @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5
The Comedy Palace @ The Palace Restaurant 9:30PM FREE 
Sweet, Sweet Stand-up @ M Bar 10PM Pay what you can
A Great & Terrible Thing @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $7 
The 11th Hour Show @ Artworks Theater 11PM FREE 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/$4 minimum/first come, first served
ZAPATA VIVE 101 S. First Ave., Arcadia, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/20 spots available/5 min.
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary 
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 10PM after booked show/15 spots available/No purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available   

10) Just watched Notting Hill and thought, “Wow. This movie does not hold up at all.” Also, I just watched Notting Hill alone for no reason at all. That’s a pretty good Match.com bio, right?

Report 00269
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Date Rape Audience Monologist’s (from DCM ASSSSCAT) identity is revealed. Also, he left Facebook like that’s going to do something.

2) It’s a new Henry’s Kitchen!!!

3) David Koechner would rather wrestle Jay Leno than promote A Good Fashioned Orgy.

4) Did you know Jim Jefferies & Eddie Ifft had a podcast? Now you do.

5) Damn, we love The Midnight Show. Here’s their sketch about home invasion.

Home Invasion! - watch more funny videos

6) So the Internet convened yesterday and decided Joe Mande wrote the funniest thing (that just happened to be about Gilbert Arenas).  We agree.

7) Read how Jeff MacKinnon is having all the fun in Edinburgh at the Fringe Festival in his 12th and 13th parts of coverage for Laughspin.

8) Splitsider makes a solid list of podcasts that should exist. We could go on about adding more, but our first thought was that Joe Wengert should have a podcast called “Before Therapy”.

9) Mainstream comedy success? More like… I have no fucking idea what a large cross section of America wants in their comedy.

10) ON THE HORIZON
Zach, Doug, Jen, and Joe @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre Wed. 8/31 10PM $20 (sold out, tickets might be available at door)
Paul F. Tompkins 1-hr. Comedy Central Special @ Alex Theatre Fri. Oct. 7th FREE

11) COMEDY CRAWL
Kool Thing @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8PM $5
The Good Luck Show @ The Good Luck Bar 8PM FREE
Donkey Show @ Big Foot Lodge 8PM FREE
La Vida Joqua @ Mas Malo 8PM FREE
Blu-Ray Launch of the Big Lebowski @ Universal City Walk 8PM $28
Therapy! @ Blu Monkey Lounge 8PM FREE
Comedy Bang Bang @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only)
Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE 
Nick Kroll & Friends @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 9PM $25 

12) OPEN MIC RUN
LIBRARY A COFFEE HOUSE 3418 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
WESTWOOD BREW CO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up 7:30PM/Starts 8PM/lottery/first come, first served/no purchase necessary
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 8PM/first come, first served/$4 min.
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St., Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd St. Promenade and 4th St.)/Sign-up 9:45PM/Starts 10PM/lottery/$1 cover
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided 
BLU MONKEY LOUNGE 5521 Hollywood Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 11PM after booked show/1 drink min./first come, first served 

13) Because I couldn’t get up at an open mic on a college campus, I felt like Banksy in Exit Through the Gift Shop when he regrets encouraging everyone to be an artist.

Report 00260
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) MTV’s scripted horror-comedy series Death Valley premieres tonight and definitely shows some promise and a welcome spin on the “emo-monster genre” that has dominated entertainment over the last 5 years. Let’s give it a chance and watch (10:30PM MTV).

2) Our favorites from Channel 101 that will be moving on to next month:
Intimate Indiscretions

Sex Teenagers

Parent Project

We’re also sad that Everything had to come to an end.

3) Our good friends over at RE:COM Magazine have come out with their latest issue, which we have indeed posted about, but needs to be heard about more in any way possible.  It’s really that great and insightful and full of articles about the cutting edge of comedy and yes, we have a piece in there too. Buy one or download a digital copy.

4) Well, that’s just wonderful.

5) “Women” “Pound It”.

6) The Laughter Against the Machine Tour with W. Kamau Bell, Janine Brito, and Nato Green only has 11 days left to reach their Kickstarter goal. If you don’t have money to donate, you can always tell others that do.

7) Laughspin posted a list of the 11 of the funniest stories told by comedians today and while it’s a solid list, we feel the likes of Sean Patton, Kumail Nanjiani, Margot Leitman, Pete Holmes, Moshe Kasher, Marc Maron, and Giulia Rozzi were left out. Also, who could forget the Paul F. Tompkins legendary story about meeting the smallest man in the world Michu on his album Impersonal.

8) Puddin’-“PF Changs”

9) ON THE HORIZON
Comedy at FYF Fest @ LA State Historic Park Sat. Sept. 3rd 12PM $40

10) COMEDY CRAWL
Brink of Extinction w/Bryan Coffee @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10
What’s Up Tiger Lily?-3 Year Anniversary for Jazz @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Garfunkel @ Oates @ Largo at the Coronet Theatre 9PM $25
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5

10) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC Campus)/nestled between three adjacent dorms approximately one block N. of Figueroa & Exposition/USC student sign-up 9PM/Non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/first come, first served/7 min./no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

12) Watched 3 comedy shows back to back to back on Saturday. Yeah, I’m not doing that for awhile.

Report 00259
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Deadline interviews Louis C.K. about his Emmy nominations.

2) Two open mics came to an end yesterday. iCandy in Long Beach, formerly known as the Coffee Haven, is shutting its doors entirely after running for over 8 years, while the LA Pizza Comedy Experience in Granada Hills also will be no more after running for over 3 years.  Change up your Tuesdays and Fridays as necessary if you’re looking for stage time.

3) Tickets for Paul F. Tompkins 1-hour Comedy Central Special Taping will be on sale this Monday. I know a lot of you who follow us are cheap, but this might be something you want to pay for.

4) Rob Delaney apologizes for an Internet faux pas and is written up about in a HS online newspaper.

5) Rob O’Reilly and podcast veteran Katie Levine (Carolla, Nerdist) have their own podcast now, Never Have I Ever. Somehow, I always lose at that game.

6) Part 10 of Jeff MacKinnon’s adventures at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival.

7) Though you might have already seen it, here’s Chris Hardwick’s parody of Jim Carrey declaring his love for Emma Stone.

chris hardwick’s message to emma stone - watch more funny videos

8) Wisepix’s Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 8/28-9/3.

9) ON THE HORIZON
An Evening with Brendon Walsh @ Nerdist Theater Sun. Aug. 28th $8 online/$10 at door
Hannibal Buress @ Hollywood Improv 8PM/10PM $20/2 item min.
The Jesse Miller Talk Show @ Hollywood Improv Lab Fri. Sept. 9th $5 
One-Two Punch @ The Benton Manor Sat. Sept. 24th 8PM Donations Accepted
Entertainment Hollywood Live! w/Erin Gibson & Bryan Safi @ UCB Theatre Wed. Sept. 28th 8PM $5

10) COMEDY CRAWL
North Star Comedy Hour & Meat Raffle w/Mary Mack @ Flappers YooHoo Room 7PM $5/2 item min. 
ASSSSCAT @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only) 
Handshucked @ Moving Arts Theater 8PM $5
The Anytime Show w/Dominic Dierkes @ Underground Annex Theater 8PM $5
The Unholy Experiment w/John Fugelsang @ The Fake Gallery  8PM $5
Channel 101 @ Downtown Independent Theater 8PM/10PM FREE 
Gina Yashere @ Downtown Comedy Club 9PM $10/2 drink min. 
The Midnight Show’s Super Secret Pilot Party @ UCB Theatre 10PM $10 
Magic Bag @ Underground Annex Theatre 10PM $5
Grand Theft Audio @ Hollywood Improv Lab 10:30PM $5
The Walsh Brothers Show @ UCB Theatre MIDNIGHT $5 
The Tomorrow Show w/Ron Lynch & Samm Levine @ Steve Allen Theater MIDNIGHT $8

11) OPEN MIC RUN
SPOT CAFE 4455 Overland Ave., Culver City, CA/Starts 2PM/feedback given at end
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/coffee & water provided
WESTSIDE COMEDY THEATER 1323-A 3rd St. Promenade, Santa Monica, CA (in alley between 3rd and 4th St.)/Sign-up (lottery) 6PM/Starts 6:30PM/no purchase necessary/4 min. 
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
OPEN PROJECTOR @ FLAPPERS 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Starts 11PM/$5/First 12 to sign-up get screened 
FLAPPERS BAR 102 E. Magnolia Ave., Burbank, CA/Sign-up 10PM/Starts MIDNIGHT/lottery 

12) There are some disturbing similarities between booking comedy shows in a big city and being in a fantasy sports league.

Report 00257
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Jonah Ray’s Jonah’s Arcade was going to be a Comedy Central show, but sadly it’s not. Watch the pilot episode and maybe you’ll be inspired to start a letter writing campaign.

2) Actual video of Tony Clifton being thrown out of the Green Room with Paul Provenza. [via The Comic’s Comic]

3) Hey Internet, Can’t You Take a Fucking Joke? A piece by us for Laughspin.

4) Tonight, Bill Burr will be on The Late Show with David Letterman (CBS 11:35PM), Louie will be back at it’s normal time, but will go an entire hour (FX 10:30PM), NTSF:SD:SUV will have a strip club fight (Adult Swim 12:15AM), and The Green Room with Paul Provenza airs its infamous Tony Clifton episode (Yes, the one with the clip above) (Showtime 11PM).

4) Grantland’s already sniffing out Razzie front runners. Oh, what the human race would do without bad movies…

5) LA Comedy abroad and abroad-ish
Jeff MacKinnon’s recap for the Edinburgh Fringe Festival on days 8 & 9 on Laughspin
Travels with Kyle Kinane, Dispatch #3 on Splitsider

6) Connected Comedy lists the 3 Things Comedians Are More Afraid of Than They Should Be. Yeah, tellin’ like it is.

7) Earwolf interviews Drew Droege about his podcast Glitter in the Garbage.

8) COMEDY CRAWL
Gallows Humor @ Vlad’s the Retailer 7:30PM $5
The Imaginary Radio Program @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $8 online/$10 at door
1642 Comedy Social Club @ 1642 Beer & Wine 8:30PM FREE
6 Degrees @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5 w/online promo code: six 
The Josh & Josh Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8:30PM FREE 
Hamclown @ Alexandria Hotel (in the Mezz) 9PM FREE
Adams/Claybrooks/Brandt/Reutter @ Art Theatre 9PM $8
Comedy Central on Campus @ USC Campus Center Grand Ballroom 9PM 
The Comedy Palace @ The Palace Restaurant 9:30PM FREE
Small & Tall Tales @ UCB Theatre 9:30PM $5
Sweet, Sweet Stand-up @ M Bar 10PM Pay What You Can 
Rest in Peace @ Hollywood Hotel 10PM FREE 
The Tulsa Skull Swingers @ The Echo MIDNIGHT $10 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA 6PM/$4 minimum/first come, first served
COFEE BEAN 16101 Ventura Blvd., Encino, CA, Suite 180/Starts 7PM/mixed mic/no purchase necessary
SANDWICH SPOT 3101 Ocean Park Ave., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served
CAFE ON 2ND 7 S. 2nd St., Alhambra, CA/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM/first come, first served/10 min.
SUNSET GRILL 7439 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/one item min.
CAFE UNURBAN 3301 Pico Blvd., Santa Monica, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 9PM/No purchase necessary 
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel, past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served/coffee and bottled water available  

10) Neighbors was the shit. That’s all I’ll say for now.

Report 00255
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau

1) Nick Kroll’s Thank You Very Cool to be released uncensored and uncut on DVD on Sept. 13th. We couldn’t get any news about his sketch show, Nick Show Kroll, from Nick as he’s busy with the League, but we’ll keep you updated.

2) The Comedy Store’s Alf Lamont details the changing environment of comedy and how comedy clubs need to change if they expect to survive/live up to their job title. Please read this, it’s important.

3) There’s still time to get in a short, or if you have a feature somehow in your back pocket, into the Sundance Film Festival, but you better get to Fed Ex pronto (deadline-to be received by Sept. 2nd & late deadline-to be received by Sept. 23rd). 

4) Though Rob Delaney and Paul Danke have been killing it posting on Vice and Earwolf and Megan Amram has lifted tweeting to an art form, the role of comedy in novel form it’s vastly overlooked when it shouldn’t be. Splitsider investigates.

5) It’s another day for Jeff MacKinnon at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Lucky bastard.

6) ON THE HORIZON
La Vida Joqua w/Bamford, Stout, Liebman, and more @ Mas Malo (in the basement) Tues. Aug. 30th 8PM FREE

7) COMEDY CRAWL
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9:30PM
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE 

8) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

9) Again, our apologies for posting the Morning Debriefing so late yesterday. If only we were more willing to alienate family members, we would have got to it sooner.

Report 00252
THE COMEDY BUREAU
@thecomedybureau
facebook.com/thecomedybureau