1) Our 2011 Emmys Summary: Modern Family is the Emmy’s favorite comedy, Louis C.K. didn’t win anything, The Big Bang Theory did win something, Outstanding Guest Actor in A Comedy Series is an award, despite moving to TBS, Conan loses out to NBC again, and we still think awards shows shouldn’t be televised.

2) Kumail Nanjiani, Gears of War 3, Barbara Kingsolver, and a “Make A Wish” Kid can only make for a hilarious Funny or Die sketch.

3) Patton Oswalt’s Finest Hour is available for purchase or download tomorrow!

4) The Midnight Show debunks the myths of twins in ads.

5) Who wants to fund an animated horror short starring Paul F. Tompkins? 

6) Louis C.K. is in the A.V. Club again today in what inevitably be quoted on Tumblr then reblogged throughout the entire blogosphere including right here, which doesn’t bother us in the slightest

7) Oh we forgot regarding the 2011 Emmy Awards: Jimmy Fallon’s angry clap deserves its own statue. Forget an emmy; it needs a life size one.

8) COMEDY CRAWL
SXSW Showcase @ UCB Theatre 4:30PM FREE
SXSW Showcase @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10 
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9PM FREE
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
The BEATdown: Los Angeles @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
DANGERFIELD’S 2 2860 Glenview Ave., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up 9PM/starts after booked show/15 spots only/5 min.
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA (USC Campus)/nestled between three adjacent dorms approximately one block N. of Figueroa & Exposition/USC student sign-up 9PM/Non-USC student sign-up 9:15PM/first come, first served/7 min./no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

10) Oh yeah, the Sheen roast is tonight, isn’t it?

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1) Nick Kroll’s Thank You Very Cool to be released uncensored and uncut on DVD on Sept. 13th. We couldn’t get any news about his sketch show, Nick Show Kroll, from Nick as he’s busy with the League, but we’ll keep you updated.

2) The Comedy Store’s Alf Lamont details the changing environment of comedy and how comedy clubs need to change if they expect to survive/live up to their job title. Please read this, it’s important.

3) There’s still time to get in a short, or if you have a feature somehow in your back pocket, into the Sundance Film Festival, but you better get to Fed Ex pronto (deadline-to be received by Sept. 2nd & late deadline-to be received by Sept. 23rd). 

4) Though Rob Delaney and Paul Danke have been killing it posting on Vice and Earwolf and Megan Amram has lifted tweeting to an art form, the role of comedy in novel form it’s vastly overlooked when it shouldn’t be. Splitsider investigates.

5) It’s another day for Jeff MacKinnon at the Edinburgh Fringe Festival. Lucky bastard.

6) ON THE HORIZON
La Vida Joqua w/Bamford, Stout, Liebman, and more @ Mas Malo (in the basement) Tues. Aug. 30th 8PM FREE

7) COMEDY CRAWL
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9:30PM
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE 

8) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

9) Again, our apologies for posting the Morning Debriefing so late yesterday. If only we were more willing to alienate family members, we would have got to it sooner.

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1) The man who found the end of the universe between two Starbucks, will find it again on Twitter; please follow @theLewisBlack. [via Laughspin]

2) You’ve probably already seen this, but Dane Cook, who makes way more money than Louis C.K. ever has, will be on Louie (Thurs. FX 10:30PM) this week, a program that will be infinitely more respected than anything Cook does, which begs the question, “Really, America?”

3) LA Weekly on the Tomorrow Show and its 6th Anniversary.

4) Watch the 1st episode of NTSF:SD:SUV. Now.

5) Paul F. Tompkins introducing Andy Kindler at Just For Laughs Montreal [via the Comic’s Comic]

6) Puddin’-“Chaw” w/guest Andy Daly

7) ON THE HORIZON
Reggie Watts @ Largo at the Coronet Theater Mon. Aug. 15th 9PM $25 (still not sold out for some reason) 

8) COMEDY CRAWL
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
The 4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes 8PM FREE
Comedy Monsoon @ Monsoon Cafe 8:30PM FREE
The (Surprise) Roast of Dean Gelber @ The Comedy Store 9PM 
Keep It Clean @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5  

9) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

10) Had one of those “you-should-do-this-for-your-act” moments with my parents the other night to which I could only respond, “describing pizza as lazy calzone is not funny”.

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1) Marc Maron’s upcoming CD “This Has To Be Funny” is available for pre-order on Amazon.

2) Just in case thought you this was a big put-on, it wasn’t. Ron Artest had his show at the Hollywood Improv.

3) The Earwolf Challenge is here. America’s First Reality Podcast.

“Earwolf announced ‘Project Tippy-Toe’ where we asked for comedy podcasters to send us applications for a ‘super secret Earwolf project’. We were inundated with podcasts; over 120 to be exact – and we listened to all of them. Needless to say, it took a long fucking time; emphasis on the ‘fucking’.

After we sifted through the silt and the shit (silt being the good ones), we found the ten best podcasts to compete in the challenge. Matt Besser graciously agreed to be the host of the show, and we flew the ten competitors to Los Angeles and put them up in a local mansion.* Thus is where we begin the show.”

First episode’s right here.

4) Kenny Powers is the MFCEO of K-Swiss.

Kenny Powers - The K-Swiss MFCEO (UNCENSORED) - watch more funny videos

5) Comedian Brady Novak crosses out Kim Novak and gets his own star on the Walk of Fame. 

6) Long running independent stand-up comedy show What’s Up Tiger Lily? asks What’s Up James Adomian?

7) Puddin’-“Legoland”

8) ON THE HORIZON
1st Edition of Laugh Revival @ Venice Stage Thurs. July 14th 8:30PM FREE

9) COMEDY CRAWL
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
The BEATdown: Los Angeles @ Nerdist Theater 8PM $10
The 4 & 20 @ All Star Lanes 8PM FREE
Brunch @ The Park Restaurant 9PM FREE 
Rick Overton: Substitute Global Ambassador @ iO West 9PM $10
Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Stand Up Saloon @ Old Towne Pub 10PM FREE
Crash Test @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5 

10) OPEN MIC RUN
SAL’S COMEDY HOLE 7356 Melrose Ave., Hollywood, CA/Starts 6PM/$4 min./first come, first served
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/first come, first served
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA/Starts 8PM/no purchase necessary/first come, first served
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Starts 8PM/Sign-up is lottery/no purchase necessary
MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5 min./multiple sets allowed/bottled water and coffee provided   

11) Transformers 3 becomes the highest grossing movie of 2011. You do know that means that the rights to Transformers 6, 7, 8, all the way up to Transformers 10 are probably locked down by Michael Bay?  Thanks to everyone who watches shiny things shoved down your throat because it’s been marketed to you every second of your waking life, we’ll be watching 2 hour music videos on the big screen for years to come. Yes, I graduated from film school and am still somewhat pretentious and have most likely forgotten what childhood was like, but I’m OK with that.

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1) 150 Best Jests via NY Post/@manydstadt-LA’s well represented with Kyle Kinane, Marc Maron, Maria Bamford, Paul Scheer, Rob Huebel, TJ Miller, Rob O’Reilly, Joselyn Hughes, Richard Lewis, Conan O’Brien, Morgan Murphy (whose coming back to LA), Andy Kindler, Jamie Lee (will hopefully come back to LA), Bil Dwyer, Alec Sulkin, Josh Comers, Dana Gould, Michelle Buteau, Kevin Nealon, Rob Gleeson, Jon Huck, Drew Droege, Jackie Kashian, Jen Murphy, Kyle Dunnigan, Jeff Ross, Whitney Cummings, Felipe Esparza, Doug Benson, Richard Lewis, and a few more I can’t remember off the top of my head.

2) Plop List-a brand new website dedicated to wrangling the best in comedy podcasting thanks to our friend Joel Mandelkorn.

3) The last chance to vote for the Scoomies-a comedy awards ceremony recognizing the best of people who were the best in the hometown and decided to come to LA to make it and are on their way up.

4) The beginnings/makings/refurbishings of the Nerdist Theatre, one of my favorite places to watch live comedy.
 

5) ON THE HORIZON
WTF! Podcast LIVE @ Steve Allen Theater Tues. Mar. 29th 8PM tickets now only available at door
John Oliver’s NY Stand Up Show Thurs. Mar. 31st 11:59PM on Comedy Central w/Maria Bamford and Moshe Kasher  

6) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Cartoon Dump @ Steve Allen Theater 8PM $10 
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Safehouse @ Lot 1 Cafe 8:30PM FREE
Keep it Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE 

7) OPEN MIC RUN
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/multiple sets allowed/$5 min.
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM
TRIBAL CAFE 1651 W. Temple St., Los Angeles, CA (Echo Park)/Starts 8PM/call (213) 483-4458
D’AMORE’S 8369 W. 3rd St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM/Purchase required 
GROUND ZERO USC 615 Childs Way, Los Angeles, CA/USC Campus/Nestled between 3 dormitories approximately a block away from the intersection of Figueroa and Exposition/USC student sign-up 9PM/non-USC-student sign-up 9:15/Starts 9:30PM  

9) If you perform comedy, you can be very happy. EX. Paul Jay marrying Jen Goldberg

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NOTE: Tip of the Hat Article coming today as last night the office wi-fi was down (i.e. Starbucks and any other coffee shop was closed)

comedytimetv:

Jan Davidson sounds a bit frazzled by her kids and should probably take a vacation.

1) One Two Punch, really an in-home live comedy experience, is one of those events that sounds amazing on paper, then absolutely exceeds expectations thanks to the one and only Barbara Gray. Here’s a fraction of a slice of a bit of how awesome a comedy show in your living room can be in the form of a few pictures by liezlwashere.

2) Though there’s plenty happening in town, A Reggie Watts Interview w/BajillionHits.biz’s Alex Blagg at SXSW would have sure been nice to be a part of…

3) If you happened to catch the vastly under publicized special “Mash-Up” on Comedy Central featuring stand-up, re-enactments of jokes, sketches, etc. this past Friday, here’s the story of how came to be from the formerly Chicago based comedy tank, The Blerds. [via Connected Comedy]

4) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
Are You F*#king Kidding Me? @ Puka Bar 7:30PM FREE
What’s Up Tiger Lily? @ Hollywood Studio Bar & Grill 8PM FREE
Stand Up Saloon: Bowser’s Birthday Edition @ Old Towne Pub 8PM FREE
Keep It Clean Comedy @ 1739 Public House 10PM FREE
Stand Up Spotlight: TJ Miller @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5

5) OPEN MIC RUN-check back here as this is updated throughout the day
RED ROCK 8782 W. Sunset Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Starts 7PM/multiple sets allowed/$5 min.
CLUB 705 705 Pier Ave., Hermosa Beach, CA/Starts 7PM-ish
JAKE’S 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM
D’AMORE’S 8369 W. 3rd St., Los Angeles, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 8PM/Purchase required 

6) I’m so entrenched in comedy that I had no idea that St. Patrick’s Day was happening until someone cracked a joke about it.

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1) Of course you’ve had that dream of seeing Patton Oswalt for free… Well, now it’s here.  This Thursday on the Comedy Palace @ The Palace, Patton will be making on the line-up.  So plan accordingly.

2) A few days ago, I said the closest Doug Stanhope would come to Los Angeles, is Santa Barbara, but, I am wrong.  Doug Stanhope @ The Comedy Store May 26th-27th 8:30PM

3) The SCOOMIES, awards for and by open mic comedians in Southern California, are closing in fast (Mar. 29th) as the first round of voting is this week at Westwood Brewco.  Keep tabs, like we are, to see who wins any number of bitterness filled awards covered in a thin veil of irony.

4) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL
The Eddie Pepitone Bloodbath @ Hollywood Improv Lab 8:30PM $5 
Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only) 
Tag Team @ Palms Bar 8:30PM
The Public School Show: Cringe @ M-Bar 9PM FREE/$10 min.
Blamblamblam! @ R-Bar 9PM FREE 

5) OPEN MIC RUN
BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st, Los Angeles, CA (downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM
COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM
WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up (lottery) 7:30PM/Starts 8PM    

6) Stand Up Comedy on TV will never beat attending a live show.  Never.  Reasons why to follow above this post very soon.

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1) If you’re reading the Comedy Bureau on a regular basis, odds are that you’ve probably watched the spotlight video of “Meltdown” on Last Call w/Caron Daly, but you should probably just watch it again because it’s important.

2) SET LIST-not yours and not really someone else’s either.  In fact, it’s a whole stand up show of random topics listed for comedians to do “on the spot”.  I’ve personally done one of these and it was a blast and now producer/host Troy Conrad is having a Comedy Central Pilot taping down at the Comedy Central Stages for free on Feb. 15th, which could be “Whose Line Is It Anyway?” for stand up comedy.

3) Open mics fall and rise and this Monday there will be a new one: JAKE’S, 38 W. Colorado Blvd., Pasadena, CA.  Feb. 21st. Sign-up 7:30PM.  Thanks to Steve Hernandez for putting up another spot.

4) The Ultimate Free & Cheap LA Comedy List 2/6-2/12. Thanks Wisepix.

5) Tonight’s COMEDY CRAWL-
Dead Authors @ UCB Theatre 6:30PM $5
Dan Cummins @ Hollywood Improv 8PM $18/2 item min.
Garfunkel & Oates Hour @ UCB Theatre 8PM $10 (stand by only)
Baron Vaughn @ Flappers-Claremont 8PM/10PM $15/2 item min.
Stood Up Friday Night: If I Ruled the World @ Moving Arts Theatre 10PM $5 
Christina Pazitsky @ Flappers YooHoo Room 11PM $10/2 item min. 

6) OPEN MIC RUN 2/4/11-
iCANDY 1708 E. Broadway, Long Beach, CA/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/$3 min. SILVERLAKE LOUNGE 2906 W. Sunset Blvd., Los Angeles, CA (Silverlake)/Sign-up (lottery) 6:30PM/Starts 7PM 
MAX BLOOM’S 200 N. Malden Ave., Fullerton, CA/Starts 7PM
TRINITY CHURCH 1015 California Ave., Santa Monica, CA (in the basement), 8PM
GLENDALE DAYS INN 450 N. Pioneer Dr., Glendale, CA/Starts 8PM

7) Recently: Kenneth Cole made quite the ripple on the Internet with an insensitive tweet promoting their clothes at the expense of cheapening the mass violence in Egypt.  Maybe they watched Eddie Pepitone’s Commercial Auditions and didn’t take the joke quite the right way….

8) Following people on Twitter has become a stressful decision.  I forgot, is the world over yet?

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1) Within the realm of the open mics, I’ve found the “mixed mic” to be the best type to actually try out material. Speakeasy Open Mic @ Harlem Place Cafe on Mondays is a perfect example of that as their “mixed mic” brings all sorts of poets, musicians, and comedians such as myself all to one place to share.  Instead of falling victim to being a horrid doldrum to be “subjected to’, as many open mics have come to be, the “mixed mic” in general has enough variety in forms of artistic expression that the audience’s attention doesn’t tire out.  At Harlem Place Cafe, there were over 40 people comprised of several spoken word poets (some were actually pretty good, a rare thing at open mics), musicians, and the one comedian for the evening, myself.  Though transitioning from heavy-handed intended-to-be-life-affirming spoken word poetry to comedy can be quite tricky, people, for the most part, were willing listeners and as a result I had a pretty good set and more importantly, fun, as opposed to the typical obsessing over the response of group of self-centered comics on a weekday night.  Thus, Speakeasy Open Mic is another “Bureau Approved” open mic.  Speakeasy Open Mic takes place every Mon. at 8PM at the Harlem Place Cafe 124 W. 4th St. in Downtown Los Angeles (in alley between Spring and Main St.).  To guarantee a spot (it does get pretty crowded), sign up in advance via e-mail at speakeasyopenmic@gmail.com.

2) What a COMEDY CRAWL for tonight that you shouldn’t miss with some of the best shows in time at what is for me affordable (FREE) and for others a ridiculously great deal: Comedy Death Ray @ UCB Theatre 8:30PM $5 (stand by only), Holy Fuck @ Downtown Independent Theater 9PM FREE, Chatroulette LIVE! @ UCB Theatre 11PM $5, Dog & Pony Show @ Bar Lubitsch 8PM FREE, Amuse and Abuse @ Esquire Bar & Lounge 1 Year Anniversary 8:30PM FREE.

3) OPEN MIC RUN: PALMS 8572 Santa Monica Blvd., West Hollywood, CA/Sign-up 4:30PM/Starts 5PM, BACK HOME IN LAHAINA (call 310 835 4014 before going) 519 E. Carson St., Carson, CA #A/Sign-up 6PM/Starts 7PM/must work clean, BIG TROUBLE IN LITTLE TOKYO @ SEÑOR FISH 422 E. 1st St., Los Angeles, CA (little tokyo, near downtown)/Sign-up 6:30PM/Starts 7PM, WESTWOOD BREWCO 1097 Glendon Ave., Westwood, CA/Sign-up lottery 7:30PM/Starts 8PM, COFFEE GALLERY 2029 Lake Ave., Altadena, CA/Starts 8PM/mixed mic, MARTY’S/THE OPEN MIC 7351 W. Sunset Blvd., Hollywood, CA (walk up Martel past Big Mama’s and Papa’s)/5PM to 11PM/$5/multiple sets allowed.

4) Comedy Central is now having their annual “Stand Up Showdown” for 2011, which puts the power of what Comedy Central Presents Special are the best, and, hopefully, which ones will be aired more frequently.  You can vote here.  I’m going to watch clips from every comedian and give you my recommendations tomorrow, but, in the meantime, don’t waste your vote impulsively.  Pick someone who featured on the Comedy Bureau frequently.

5) Patton Oswalt takes a foray into the literary by making “Zombie Spaceship Wasteland” available for purchase today.  Judd Apatow claims, “Further proof that Patton Oswalt is way funnier than I am, which is either high praise or an insult. Your call.” and award winning writer Dave Eggers says, “Fans of Patton Oswalt’s standup comedy have always known he was a born writer at heart, and now here’s the proof. This is a surprisingly affecting, sincere and daresay vulnerable collection of essays, all keenly observed, always very funny.”  Maybe, at the very least, you should go to Barnes & Noble and sit for a few hours and check it out, like I plan to do.

6) The Comedy Bureau “Tips Its Hat” today to WENDY LIEBMAN ”@WendyLiebman I want to watch OWN but a) I can’t find it and b) I’m too busy texting in my car.”  Over 20 years in comedy, Wendy has built up nearly hit all the milestones that many of us in the “aspiring” category dream to achieve: touring constantly, having a special on HBO, actually making money at comedy, etc.  Being one of the quickest, wittiest, and most clever comics I’ve ever heard is what has gotten her well-deserved success.  Website, Twitter, and check back at the Comedy Bureau for any of Wendy’s upcoming LA tour dates.

7) From the You Should Have Been There Lagoon: (to show you what I’m talkin’ bout) Wendy Liebman Pt. 1 & Pt. 2

8) Donate to the Comedy Bureau. Thanks to Jerry Brandt for being a continued supporter of the Comedy Bureau.  Join him in being a good, decent person.

9) Can’t wait for all the people who have a New Year’s Resolution of trying their hand stand up comedy.  I JUST CAN’T WAIT.

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