As of Jan. 19th, 2011, the “Tip of the Hat” is reverting to a weekly feature of the Comedy Bureau that will be posted every Friday. Check the NEW “Tip of the Hat” here.
*For consideration for Tip of the Hat, you can also e-mail firstname.lastname@example.org with the subject line-‘For Your Consideration Tip of the Hat’
12/28/10: Jake Weisman-wrote on Facebook yesterday “SOMETIMES I PLAY A GAME WHERE I IMITATE A MEOW AS BEST I CAN AND THEN MY CATS COME SNIFF ME BECAUSE THEY SENSE I AM IN TROUBLE BECAUSE THEY ARE NATURAL CARETAKERS AND YEAH I’VE GOT IT TOGETHER THIS HOLIDAY SEASON EVERYBODY.” Jake’s Twitter and podcast “The Morning After” w/Eli Olsberg.
12/22/10: Alison Agosti-““@Just_Alison If you’re shopping at Brookstone for a last-minute gift, just don’t get that person anything. You obviously hate them.” Alison’s podcast “Live from a Shoebox”, blog, and Twitter.
12/21/10: Russell Corona-“@RCoronaJokes It’s the thought that counts, that’s why you’re an afterthought.” Russell’s Twitter.
12/19/10: Steve Schneider-“@stvschndr My faith in humankind cannot survive the fact that people willingly eat at Panda Express.” Steve’s Twitter.
12/17/10: Christian Duguay-“@christianduguay Little known fact - all 7-11s offer a murder weapon disposal service.” Christian’s Twitter.
12/15/10: Matt Champagne-“Matt on his daily blog wrote his idea of what happens when saying “No” when asked for donations-
CASHIER: Would you like to give to St. Jude’s today?
CUSTOMER: No, actually I—
CASHIER: Oh really? All right. (Flips a switch, the sound of a fog horn is heard.) Folks, looks like we got a Grinch in our midst!
OTHER EMPLOYEES: Uh-oh.
(The other employees of the store stop their tasks and stare at the customer. They rest their arms at their side and slowly point at him while emitting a low, rumbling hum from the pits of their stomachs.)
CUSTOMER: Wait…hold on…
(A large door opens up in the ceiling and a big disgusting giant bat flies out with hair like big black pipe cleaners and eyes that never blink and a mouth looking for something to bite. The store goes crazy. The lights go out, people are screaming, flames start to erupt from under the floor, a large Rottweiler is set loose from a cage near-by and starts biting another customer’s leg, a hooded executioner runs through the store swinging his axe at people, shots are fired, someone gets maced, a woman starts screaming: “My baby! My baby!”, the floor opens up and people start falling in.)
CASHIER: See what you’ve done!
CUSTOMER: I was gonna say: “No, actually, I wanna give to the March of Dimes.” Matt’s blog I Remain Champagne.
12/14/10: Josh Fadem-“@joshfadem Cut my finger- hurt so bad, removed my hand to stop finger pain, but my wrist REALLY hurt, so removed my arm, now have bad pain in shoulder.” Josh’s Twitter.
12/12/10: Jackie Kashian-“@jackiekashian I said to him, “so you’ve never done standup before?” he paused. a long time. “open mike?” he said, “well, I was on the bus this one time.” Jackie’s website, podcast “The Dork Forest”, Tumblr, and Twitter.
12/7/10: Lizzy Cooperman-“@lizzycooperman ”Peaks and valleys, man. It’s all about peaks and valleys.” - a depressed person summing up life, or the book “Let’s Go Afghanistan”. Lizzy’s Website, Twitter, and sketch group Birds of Prey.
12/4/10: Jim Hamilton-“@Jim_Hamilton With the stage covered in blood and lady halves, Boris realized why there aren’t more open mics for magicians.” Jim’s Twitter.
12/3/10: Joe Wagner-“When a man and a woman love each other very much… they often fuck it all up.” Check back at the Comedy Bureau for details on Joe’s next show and/or stroke of genius.
12/2/10: Neil Hamburger-“Yogi Bear Oscar campaign to include mailings of narcotics-laden “picnic baskets” to drug-addicted Oscar voters. #bestpicture/Yogi Bear” becomes first film to be banned in Poland since “Hitler’s Giant Cock And Great Ideas Also” was banned from theaters in 1967/Taco Bell to put Aykroyd and Timberlake’s feces into refried beans during December to help prepare fans for experience of watching film/George W. Bush in “Decision Points”: “Say what you will, but no Yogi Bear movie was released during my 8-year Presidency”. #true/(CNN): “Aykroyd Channeled Spirits Of Charles Manson, Benito Mussolini During Yogi Bear Voiceover Sessions And Subsequent Serial Rapes”/(CNN): Popov Vodka to sponsor asphyxiation of children heard complaining about Yogi Bear movie on school playgrounds.” Neil’s Website and Twitter.
12/1/10: Davey Johnson-“@DrDavey I’m 8% clever, and 93% stupid.” Davey’s Twitter.
11/29/10: Andy Peters
11/27/10: Paul Danke-“@pauldanke every black friday, I get up early, go to best buy, and when the doors open. I rob the shit out of people’s cars. #IPODSFOREVERYONE” Paul’s blog The Art of Coming Off Casual, amazing show w/Sean Green and Cornell Reid “Comedy Garage”, and Twitter.
11/26/10: Jerry Brandt-“@HateJerryBrandt- Awkward Thanksgiving phone conversation with my Dad is done…we can now go back to ignoring each other until Christmas.” Jerry’s podcast w/ Chris Adams “Drinking Buddies”, Website, and Twitter.
11/23/10: Andrew Dewitt-Andrew posted a video of him opening an “Assassin’s Creed Brotherhood: Collector’s Edition Box Set” alone in a basement on his birthday… IN 3 PARTS. It’s pretty damn fantastic, check it here. Andrew’s Blog “Dorksplosion”.
11/22/10: Andrés du Bouchet-“@dubouchet Having accomplished every goal I’ve set for myself (Andres points to blank sheet of paper), I now intend to relax for 30-40 years. [THEN] I pointed to the wrong paper in that last tweet. HERE’S my list of goals! (pointing to napkin on which I’ve written “HI ANDRES!” in ketchup).” Andrés’ Website & Twitter.
11/21/10: Abbey Londer-“Listen lady— I can’t tell whether or not your baby is a boy or a girl. So when I say ‘what’s this little man’s name?’ and you get alllll offended and say ‘what does he look like a boy or something?’ please know that I don’t care. Also: I made your non fat latte with half and half. Happy Holidays, bitch.” Abbey’s Website & her “Sweet and Sour Comedy” with only one show left!
11/15/10: Jeremy Paul-“@kabelion My HMO does not cover titty glitter.” Jeremy’s Twitter.
11/13/10: Jim Hamilton-“@Jim_Hamilton I don’t know what to wear this time of year, because the only clothes I own are Hypercolor shirts and Christmas sweaters.” Jim’s Twitter.